[He feels like he's been raked over several times before being slammed into the ground again for good measure, but it's fine. ...Okay, he's not fine, but the former warder presses two fingers into his eyes as he rereads Kazuma's simple question over and over. It's quite kind of him to reach out like this, especially since he's the one responsible for dragging him into prison in the first place, but that doesn't make him less weary.]
I've had better nights, but I believe that I'll be just fine. [He's not really being honest here, but Vigil thinks he's burdened him enough already.]
I want to apologize for bringing you into that whole mess. Getting thrown into prison and being told that you'll be executed... it's inexcusable.
[Vigil isn't sure if he should push his guilt further onto him, so he decides to drop it for now. Besides, there's plenty of things to talk about and he's quite sure Mr. Asogi is wanting to know more about his father.
Much of his memory about Genshin has returned, at least up to the time of his execution. That part still escapes him.]
Yes, I suppose that even to this day, I dream about Barclay, despite quitting that job ten years ago. It's not a place one can easily forget.
[.......]
Ah, but saying that, I have forgotten some things about it. Some memories still elude me, but I remember more compared to earlier.
[He like to say maybe he's dreaming about the prison, because something from his past is haunting him. But he has a feeling opening with that will only make Vigil clamp shut.]
Well, you certainly remembered something right before I woke up. Something appeared behind you and you were mumbling about a will.
[He remembers Mr. Asogi having a will, even though the man was not allowed any writing materials. There's a sense of discomfort when he tries to think about it too much, but Vigil feels like he owes Kazuma some details about his father after all this time.
He just won't ask about the 'something' that appeared behind him.]
Genshin Asogi's will. Somehow it went missing at some point during his stay at Barclay. ...It was very important, but I cannot recall any of the details in it or why it disappeared.
[....]
I hope this isn't too much to ask, but did you receive his will? Ah, or someone in your family?
[...He sees no reason not to talk about it. The outcome of this whole mess had already been determined back home afterall.]
When I received my father's things, I did get his will. [It's strange how Vigil would get worked up over it. Considering what had been written on it, it wouldn't really bring attention to anyway. But then, he remembers when Susato told him there were three pages to that will.]
I was missing a page of it though. Kept from me because it held some kind of information that apparently threatened those in power.
If it threatened the higherups of the judiciary, I can see why Governor Caidin was adamant about getting it back. Your father really must've known a deep secret.
...Perhaps that's why they forbade him from having any writing utensil. He wasn't supposed to have any will on his person while in Barclay either.
Well despite holding that information hostage, they clearly never figured it out. I don't know what exactly my father wrote, but it must have been cryptic enough for them to be unable to fully decipher it. Perhaps even only a family member would know.
[It would make sense, considering the secret is being kept inside Karuma.] So I'm assuming, there should have been people observing him while he wrote the will I received? And yet, he apparently already had it written with none of you knowing?
...I don't quite know. I don't believe I was there when the will was originally written.
I apologize, I thought with some of my memories returning, I'd be able to give you a clearer answer surrounding those events, but it seems there's still much to be learned. Perhaps your friends know a little more about that.
Well, it did seem like a chaotic time. [Though maybe it's because of his own nightmare creeping into Vigil. There's still that weird window(?) that appeared behind Vigil as well.]
I will ask that you don't pass along anything I've said during that dream though. Please.
[Certainly some private things were said during that time. He knows that Lord van Zieks wants information, but... it's hard to look at the words in front of him and deny him his privacy.]
Of course, Mr Asogi. If I may ask, however, is it true what you said? That you killed someone before?
Do not feel beholden to me to answer the question. I feel that it's more important for you to tell your friends if you're actually holding such a secret from them.
The first few words come out far more sloppy than the rest of his writing, but it's still legible.]
It's not a secret I enjoy keeping from my loved ones. Every night, the guilt eats at me, sometimes keeping me awake. It's not wholly an experience I wish upon others.
[Man has a point, but talking about murders isn't exactly the same as hiding a "resignation" from a job.]
Had your secret not come out back home, would you have eventually tell your family on your own terms? I know you've been at it for ten years, but that lifestyle can't last forever.
[Vigil has to think about that, wondering if he would've been strong enough to admit his failings to his family.]
I'd like to say that I would've, but I honestly cannot claim with full certainly that the truth would've been told to them. Perhaps I would've peddled and lived off Inspector Gregson's generosity until he retired.
I suppose it's easier, in some ways, to have that choice taken away from me.
If that's their choice, I'll accept their decision. [He's already been away from his friends for years now. Wouldn't change much if they went their separate ways. And though he says this...he feels they wouldn't leave him in the end, not with the way Susato has been pressing him.]
But I can't imagine that you would hurt someone out of malicious intent. Perhaps such a reason wouldn't work in court, but with your friends, it may make all the difference.
I've been away from home for several years now. So I'm already used to being on my own.
[And this is where things get a little...complicated. He wouldn't, certainly, but he cannot deny that somewhere deep down inside him, those malicious feelings do exist. Manifested into it's own person even.]
My positions won't change on the matter. We all have our secrets, Mr. Vigil.
[He thinks there's a difference between being away from home, thus physically unable to be with friends, to being emotionally isolated from them. But Vigil decides to keep those thoughts to himself.]
Of course, Mr Asogi.
That being said, I do recall owing you at least some memories regarding your father. While I haven't remembered everything, I have a clearer picture of Genshin Asogi while he was incarcerated at Barclay.
[His father's time in prison. It could have just been the dream itself, but Vigil's rather gentle demeanor when he first thought he was talking to his father, seems to indicate he had left an impression on him.]
[Saying that he was a model prisoner probably isn't the right phrasing, but...]
Calm, well-spoken, with a sense of honor. He asked how I was doing, and it wasn't with any malicious intent. It's not often I get to speak with a prisoner that had such traits.
[Strange that his mind wanted to block out memories of him...]
Perhaps that's why I found it difficult that he was there in the first place... although you did mention he was falsely accused.
[Rather than feel at ease to hear this, he just felt a little frustrated. No matter how obvious that he wasn't the serial killer, nothing could have been done to change the verdict. He had to keep playing their little game.]
Did you let him have some of his things while he was in prison? [He recall specifically he wasn't suppose to have any writing utensils. Strange thing to say when he assumes prisoners normally aren't given anything besides food and water.]
I remember that he was a particularly unique case. He was allowed some of his belongings to be with him in the cell, including some books, his kimono, and... a sword. I believe it's the same sword upon which you carry.
None of the other prisoners would be allowed such things, besides a few reading materials.
[A "serial killer" being allowed to have his sword. That's completely unheard of, even if he can imagine his father would insist. One cannot simply separate a Japanese man from his katana afterall. ]
I can see why you would question him. Who has ever heard of a "serial killer" being allowed to have a weapon in their prison cell?
But yes. The sword is the very same. [...] You said you looked through everything for that will, right?
If I recall, the orders to allow him to keep his belongings came from Governor Caidin himself... so I wasn't about to question why. But yes, I was also curious and he was an incredibly easy person to speak with. He could've easily ignored me, but I often found myself enjoying a conversation with him.
[But ah, that question..]
I did. I We looked everywhere for it, but the will was never found. But... you said you got it. I don't quite understand, but I'm glad that it found its way to you.
[He's starting to think that maybe it's not exactly the missing page of his father's will, but Klint's will they were looking for. Fortunate, they never could decipher what that last page meant about "twisting the top of Karuma".
But nevermind that, he's just sitting on his father, having a casual conversation with the Chief Warden. His heart just aches, that he wasn't given that chance to talk to him one last time.] What did he talk to you about? Did- [He stopped, perhaps maybe feeling selfish or hesitant to know if his father did bring up the subject. In the end, he continues to write out his question.] Did he talk about our family?
Although, not right away. I remember him being rather private about his personal life at first... but perhaps it was because I spoke about my family, he eventually told me about his own. I believe it was one of the few topics that truly brought a smile from him.
[Along with some bitterness, but Vigil doesn't feel the need to point that out. An 'innocent' man on death row talking about his family... there's bound to be some anger there.]
I have no doubt that he thought about you every day.
[Anger and sorrow. Probably for the best they aren't talking face to face, because even this was difficult for him to listen to without a reaction. Imagine you believed you'll be able to go home to see said family, without knowing tomorrow would be your last. Just cruel and unfair, yet lashing out on Vigil will do nothing since he's innocent, as far as he's aware. ]
Thank you for keeping him company. [He's sure father appreciated it, if he was willing to make conversation with this man.] I think that's enough for now.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Backdate Early February
Are you all right?
no subject
I've had better nights, but I believe that I'll be just fine. [He's not really being honest here, but Vigil thinks he's burdened him enough already.]
I want to apologize for bringing you into that whole mess. Getting thrown into prison and being told that you'll be executed... it's inexcusable.
no subject
I'm not sure that's entirely your fault, dragging me into a dream. It's not the first time I've stumbled into another's dream, somehow.
Still, reminiscing about the final days for your prisoners?
no subject
Much of his memory about Genshin has returned, at least up to the time of his execution. That part still escapes him.]
Yes, I suppose that even to this day, I dream about Barclay, despite quitting that job ten years ago. It's not a place one can easily forget.
[.......]
Ah, but saying that, I have forgotten some things about it. Some memories still elude me, but I remember more compared to earlier.
no subject
Well, you certainly remembered something right before I woke up. Something appeared behind you and you were mumbling about a will.
no subject
He just won't ask about the 'something' that appeared behind him.]
Genshin Asogi's will. Somehow it went missing at some point during his stay at Barclay. ...It was very important, but I cannot recall any of the details in it or why it disappeared.
[....]
I hope this isn't too much to ask, but did you receive his will? Ah, or someone in your family?
no subject
When I received my father's things, I did get his will. [It's strange how Vigil would get worked up over it. Considering what had been written on it, it wouldn't really bring attention to anyway. But then, he remembers when Susato told him there were three pages to that will.]
I was missing a page of it though. Kept from me because it held some kind of information that apparently threatened those in power.
no subject
...Perhaps that's why they forbade him from having any writing utensil. He wasn't supposed to have any will on his person while in Barclay either.
no subject
[It would make sense, considering the secret is being kept inside Karuma.] So I'm assuming, there should have been people observing him while he wrote the will I received? And yet, he apparently already had it written with none of you knowing?
no subject
I apologize, I thought with some of my memories returning, I'd be able to give you a clearer answer surrounding those events, but it seems there's still much to be learned. Perhaps your friends know a little more about that.
no subject
I will ask that you don't pass along anything I've said during that dream though. Please.
no subject
Of course, Mr Asogi. If I may ask, however, is it true what you said? That you killed someone before?
no subject
How about I answer that, when you can remember what you had forgotten? [A fair trade, right?]
no subject
Do not feel beholden to me to answer the question. I feel that it's more important for you to tell your friends if you're actually holding such a secret from them.
no subject
When the time is right. [Meaning never unless they find out and ask the right questions.]
no subject
Says the guy that's been keeping secrets from his wife for ten years.]
It'll come out eventually. It's best if they learn it from you than through uncontrollable means.
no subject
[And he did it for ten years without anyone finding out, right?] It's a matter of the past. I don't see a reason to discuss it now.
no subject
The first few words come out far more sloppy than the rest of his writing, but it's still legible.]
It's not a secret I enjoy keeping from my loved ones. Every night, the guilt eats at me, sometimes keeping me awake. It's not wholly an experience I wish upon others.
no subject
Had your secret not come out back home, would you have eventually tell your family on your own terms? I know you've been at it for ten years, but that lifestyle can't last forever.
no subject
I'd like to say that I would've, but I honestly cannot claim with full certainly that the truth would've been told to them. Perhaps I would've peddled and lived off Inspector Gregson's generosity until he retired.
I suppose it's easier, in some ways, to have that choice taken away from me.
no subject
no subject
Do you fear losing their friendship when the truth is revealed?
no subject
no subject
But I can't imagine that you would hurt someone out of malicious intent. Perhaps such a reason wouldn't work in court, but with your friends, it may make all the difference.
no subject
[And this is where things get a little...complicated. He wouldn't, certainly, but he cannot deny that somewhere deep down inside him, those malicious feelings do exist. Manifested into it's own person even.]
My positions won't change on the matter. We all have our secrets, Mr. Vigil.
no subject
Of course, Mr Asogi.
That being said, I do recall owing you at least some memories regarding your father. While I haven't remembered everything, I have a clearer picture of Genshin Asogi while he was incarcerated at Barclay.
no subject
What can you share with me?
no subject
Calm, well-spoken, with a sense of honor. He asked how I was doing, and it wasn't with any malicious intent. It's not often I get to speak with a prisoner that had such traits.
[Strange that his mind wanted to block out memories of him...]
Perhaps that's why I found it difficult that he was there in the first place... although you did mention he was falsely accused.
no subject
Did you let him have some of his things while he was in prison? [He recall specifically he wasn't suppose to have any writing utensils. Strange thing to say when he assumes prisoners normally aren't given anything besides food and water.]
no subject
None of the other prisoners would be allowed such things, besides a few reading materials.
no subject
I can see why you would question him. Who has ever heard of a "serial killer" being allowed to have a weapon in their prison cell?
But yes. The sword is the very same. [...] You said you looked through everything for that will, right?
no subject
[But ah, that question..]
I did.
IWe looked everywhere for it, but the will was never found. But... you said you got it. I don't quite understand, but I'm glad that it found its way to you.no subject
But nevermind that, he's just sitting on his father, having a casual conversation with the Chief Warden. His heart just aches, that he wasn't given that chance to talk to him one last time.] What did he talk to you about? Did- [He stopped, perhaps maybe feeling selfish or hesitant to know if his father did bring up the subject. In the end, he continues to write out his question.] Did he talk about our family?
no subject
Although, not right away. I remember him being rather private about his personal life at first... but perhaps it was because I spoke about my family, he eventually told me about his own. I believe it was one of the few topics that truly brought a smile from him.
[Along with some bitterness, but Vigil doesn't feel the need to point that out. An 'innocent' man on death row talking about his family... there's bound to be some anger there.]
I have no doubt that he thought about you every day.
no subject
Thank you for keeping him company. [He's sure father appreciated it, if he was willing to make conversation with this man.] I think that's enough for now.